Unlearning Shame
I grew up as the second of five children in a family where life was often challenging. My father was a primary school teacher, and my mother balanced farming and housework, embodying the hardworking and tough African parent stereotype. Her discipline was intense; even minor mistakes could lead to severe consequences. I vividly remember the fear of her checking for signs of bedwetting each morning. Despite my efforts to overcome it, I often fell short, facing harsh punishment and ridicule from my siblings.
The trauma from these experiences shaped my self-esteem. I constantly felt inferior and believed that my worth was defined by my failures and shortcomings. This belief followed me into school, where I struggled to participate in activities or make friends. I feared failure so much that I avoided growth opportunities, staying in the background to protect myself from embarrassment.
As I approached my final exams, my self-doubt was overwhelming. I felt like nothing good could come from me even though I did my best. Miraculously, I passed, but the shadow of low self-esteem continued to loom over me.
When I started high school at Netu Girls Secondary School in 2013, I was filled with both excitement…
